Obession, Delusion , Derangement

I have plunged fatally into my obsession. I cant quite determine what it is about her though. Whether I’m entrapped by her innocence or seduced by her youth. She is contrary to what I felt my ideal love would be and I know that this will never be condoned by my social circle. Yet I cannot stop myself from wanting to hear her laugh just one day more. I should stop and I must stop but she plunders my thoughts every moment. I have many a times raped my morals just to go out with her and immerse myself in her full-bodied aura of naivety. I am caught between accepting the age-barrier or debating the possibilities of breaking it. Maybe she is indeed too young for me or maybe it is the generation and not the years that form the rift between us - Social Dogma. Why do I desire her so much knowing it could never possibly happen? Have I succumbed to the treacherous wiles of life?

Most of our lives are spent in perpetual battle. Its us versus life. Many routinely go through each day not knowing if they can face tomorrow with the same vigour that they had today. Only some ever live life. Most are content to just survive in life and continue preset conventions. Only some ever dare break it and live life. Do I dare?

Each day I struggle between telling her and ending it. At least I know the guilt that devours my conscience each night will be tamed. True feelings solicit shame when it surfaces; proliferating turmoil that a facade easily disguises. Lies enable us to live life in relative peace. As history teaches us: Absolute truth begets crucifixion.

I loveth so much this girl,
Yet I cannot let my feelings unfurl,
For I fear the precepts of this world,
And I’m obscured like an oyster with a black pearl.