Diffuse Transfusion from an Adulterated Existence

I know a girl. A girl I imbued myself in. A girl immersed in disorientation. A girl musty with hypocorism. A girl languishing in self-piety. A girl with tears so devious, I couldn’t decipher her wiles. A girl with a conscience that sucked me in; only to devour me. A girl who feigned solidarity to lean on me. I’ve been made a fool by such a girl. A girl, who spread her love like a prostitute desperately in need of money only to discover that she cannot pleasure her buyer. A girl who built a space shuttle of promises in me but it exploded upon launch. A girl, who wanted me to share her sorrow when I was happy but refused to surrender her happiness for my sorrow. Betrayal is not a stab in your back. No. It’s a fully fledged plunge directly into your heart when you are blindfolded. Trust is that blindfold. Although it leaves a massive crater in your chest the reality of it eludes us; we try and plug the bleeding hole with reasons, discernment, sense and rationale. Nothing can heal it be...

There was sooooo much promise this season and yet again here we are fighting for relegation with 4 games left. What makes it even more ridiculous is that we had 2 MESSIAHS in charge of the club this season alone. Sigh...miss the days of Bobby Robson.

It is no secret that love is the most sought after feeling for us. Everyone yearns for it, some with discretion and most with desperation. Looking around us and we find people falling in and out of love with ferocity; determined to secure the love of their life through a acclerated filtration process. I had a friend who told me once, "Well..i liked her alot but it just didnt work out between us" and I asked him,"How did it work out in the beginning then?" and he said," I dont know da, it just happened." and again I asked, "How?" and he said," I really dunno da..sigh..I feel like drinking." And every guy knows that alcohol is a great conversation killer and starter. Man is a flawed creation who that seeks to either embellish or polish that flaw. We seek perfection in routine but fail to realize that love cannot exist in routine nor perfection. Can love be defined? I can like a woman's smile, laughter, character, personality, butt a...

Too lazy to write..Came across this story...enjoy... Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital! 'This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wa...

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Happiness, so indelible right after a depression. We all know that the greatest happiness that is felt in life is preceded by utmost sorrow. Happiness, probably the most acclaimed of all emotions. One question though, which is greater? Happiness that come from within or happiness that permeates into us from others.

Trust. An idolised (revered, only 2nd to love) ideal that remains just that. Trust is a twisted emotion isn’t it? We sometimes trust people that we never quite thought we could ever possibly get along with and form relationships that we cannot quite place. The relationships we have are conceptualised by society - Father, mother, sister, brother, aunty, uncle, grandparents, friend, boss, colleague, wife, lover etc. Our relationships are clearly defined for us from stage to stage. A colleague can progress on to be a friend, then possibly a lover, maybe after that a wife and, given the current trend, end up as an ex-wife. However, once in awhile we meet someone whom we find impossible to fit into this rigid relationship structure. Someone we know we can never let go but we know we have to. What do we do then? Trust is the foundation of a marriage isn’t it? Every sane religion preaches trust as the key to till-death-do-us-apart marriages yet divorces escalate alarming. I do not judge but...

The title next season is ours!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Yesterday was April Fools Day and I wasnt really planning to elaborately trick anyone. I thought I'd just stick to little, lame jokes until I got a call from my friend. I shall not disclose her name due to the immense humialiation she'd face if her identity was uncovered but I'll leave subtle clues along the way. The Story:- I was at work yesterday and I got a call from this fren of mine, Beasty (secret identity – clue number 1). She wanted to play a prank on my church youth pastor. This was her plan: She would call my pastor up and tell him that someone had opened a facebook account under my pastor’s name and had posted offensive comments through that account. Beasty told me that she would call first and then I should call him just to emphasise the seriousness of the problem. So I said ok. Beasty happily called my pastor and called me back. She was like, “He was sooooo pissed. He really fell for it. (hahahahah) But now I’m scared because he sounded really angry.” I told h...

Depression: Cataclysmic yet mandatory. It hits us all hard, leaving us on our knees breathless and bleeding; some don’t get up. Two situations that I came across: First, an Indian man I met near my work place. I could not quite determine his nationality but he spoke excellent English. He stopped me abruptly on my walk to the MRT station for money to eat. Admittedly, I was peeved - I’m rushing back home like every other robot in town and he disturbs my routine to ask me for money to eat? I thought, “Bastard beggar. Bloody shame to my race” and I reach into my bag to take out my wallet. You know how life flings ironies at you in random? This was one of those moments. The man wanted money and I was pissed so I cockily took out my wallet when I shockingly (and I mean balls in mouth kind of shock) discovered that I didn’t have a single cent in it. My face was burning with embarrassment and I had to save a bit of dignity you see so I told the man to follow me to the nearest ATM. Instead the ...

What would you do if a girl shared her shame with you but you know it’s a lie? Would you confront her with it or be content that at least she spoke in a parable? Secrets have so much power. The greatest fear of Man is shame. Secrets are dank with shame. I am not talking about secrets like, “Oh My God! (Panting heavily) That guy is sooooooo cuuuute! Dont tell anyone I said that”. But rather secrets like, “I slept with your wife. She’s a tigress”. The potency of a secret amplifies when it is augmented by accumulating shame. What prompts us to share our shame? The yearn for salvation. We think that if we were to show someone our defect or fallibility then we can justify our action just that bit more. By sharing with someone our shame, we dilute it with opinions. For example, the person listening to us says, “Don’t worry; I’ve also slept with my friend’s girlfriend before.” Then our shame is attenuated because it is longer exclusive only to us. However, some secrets are like dams that re...

The loss of a life. Nothing jolts us like the reality of death. No matter the amount of friends/family we have, no matter how much love surrounds us, every one of us have at one point or another in life felt desolate and obsolete. The greatest catastrophe induced by desolation...suicide. Death is feared by some, relished by some and viewed as an acquittal from the prison of life by an acquired few. Suicide is generally considered an act of cowardice; the easy way out of life and its problems. What is life was their problem? Truth is that if these people had any other avenue to relinquish life they would have but all they have is death to liberate their anguish. Only death ends life. Is it really cowardly to cease to live prematurely? Is it right to judge these people? Yes they leave behind so much sorrow and misery yet who was there to partake in their affliction when they had life? To whom do they owe an explanation to? Behind each suicide is a reason that is unfathomable to those ...

I have plunged fatally into my obsession. I cant quite determine what it is about her though. Whether I’m entrapped by her innocence or seduced by her youth. She is contrary to what I felt my ideal love would be and I know that this will never be condoned by my social circle. Yet I cannot stop myself from wanting to hear her laugh just one day more. I should stop and I must stop but she plunders my thoughts every moment. I have many a times raped my morals just to go out with her and immerse myself in her full-bodied aura of naivety. I am caught between accepting the age-barrier or debating the possibilities of breaking it. Maybe she is indeed too young for me or maybe it is the generation and not the years that form the rift between us - Social Dogma. Why do I desire her so much knowing it could never possibly happen? Have I succumbed to the treacherous wiles of life? Most of our lives are spent in perpetual battle. Its us versus life. Many routinely go through each day not knowing i...

“Understanding this aspect of God’s will acknowledges that while we have the power and ability to disobey God’s commands, we do not have the right to do so. Therefore, there is no excuse for our sin, and we cannot claim that by choosing to sin we are simply fulfilling God’s sovereign decree or will. Judas was fulfilling God’s sovereign will in betraying Christ, just as the Romans who crucified Him were. That does not justify their sins. They were no less evil or treacherous, and they were held accountable for their rejection of Christ (Acts 4:27-28). Even though in His sovereign will God allows or permits sin to happen, we are still accountable to Him for that sin.” This argument was put forth by a rather well-known Christian Evangelist and writer. What he says is that although the betrayal of Jesus was God’s sovereign will ((meaning his absolute right and power to do all things), Judas was to be blamed for allowing himself to indulge in sin. Does this argument really make sense? A Chr...

Ever realised how life becomes an encumbrance only when we actually stop to think about it? Its as if predicaments only ever catch up to us when we attune to them. For example, when I was in secondary school, I used to forget my books every day. My maths teacher, Ms Ng, once called me into the counselling room to have a heart to heart talk with her. The purpose of the session would be to impart some values on homework ethics to me but I found it pretty hard to be concentrating on what she's saying when she's sitting across me, on a low wooden bench, in a short dress. Eventually she'd lose patience and threaten to call my parents to complain. Since I dont have a say in her decision all I could do is prepare for the worst (by worst I mean broomsticks, cooking utensils, vaccum cleaner and toilet bowl covers in the hands of my martial arts trained parents and me as the sparring partner). The cruel reality of this life-threatening situation does not hit me when I'm playing s...

Ever since my inception into Christianity, at a age where I couldnt decipher if what I felt was merely my emotions or divine insemination, I've always been pondered much about my new religion. Let me thus share my thoughts one such moot point: God's Will. Christianity preaches that everyone of us have a purpose in life and that purpose is what Christianity labels as God's Will. According to many preachers, in order to attain enlightenment on what that Will contains for us, we have to have a close relationship with God - through prayer, fasting and whatever else is prescribed by our "spiritual father" a.k.a Pastor. Essentially what this means is that we have to spend part of our lives discovering what has been decided by God for us and then spending the rest of it living as he wanted us to. Now what could be more glorious and fulfilling than living a life predestined by our Creator right? But is this truly what God meant by his Will in our lives? Genesis 2:...

Recently I spoke to a friend of mine, Ginger (not her real name obviously), who was rather depressed over the happenings in her life. This is her story: Ginger is a highly educated woman in her late twenties. She has a stable job and earns a respectable income. Ginger has always been apprehensive about love. She didnt feel that she could ever fall in love. Just as all love stories begin, along came man who swept Ginger of her feet , captured her imagination and set her heart so much on fire that she knew that it HAD to be love. And so begins the love story of Ginger who builds a relationship with that man for a couple of years and then tragedy strikes. Ginger is a pious Christian. Her lover, lets call him Fred, is a Hindu albeit a rather lax one. Ginger's concern is the contrictions of her religion. Christianity does not condone inter-religious marriages. Now Ginger was so convinced that this couldnt be God's Will and so they broke up. Its been a year or so since since and yet...